we stumble into our dirty bedroom,
unload and undress,
collapse into bed.
brushing away the past from our shoulders;
another night, another day older.
we discard our regrets and sleep in our secrets.
you realize you don't know how to tell me the truth,
and i accept it: i'm never happy to see you.
we wake up early every day for weeks,
drive for long hours, take three person showers.
you're counting the days until you see him again,
another night, another day spent shutting my mouth tight, looking on the bright side.
we knew from the start this would crush both of our hearts,
but what can i say? we did it anyway.
but it is okay, we figured things would end up this way.
and it is okay, i know i'll stop breathing one day,
and i'll never be able to justify the ways that i lived my only life.
i just want something to feel all right,
something to show for all this time.
how many times will i pour my heart into another person's failure to move?
how many times can we give this a try?
how many nights will i lie awake waiting?